Because sometimes we feel...

sorrow, anxiety, overwhelming dread, sadness, despair, hopelessness, depression, pain, and anger.  The list goes on.  I was recently watching one of my favorite shows and it was talking about all these emotions.  The best part came when the question was asked,"Why are they (people) so happy when they are about to be so sad?  And the answer is, because they're about to be so sad."  I was confused at first and thought the character misspoke.  Then it dawned on me, he's right.  

  I don't have to tell you about life.  We all already know it's hard.  I mean, drag you face down through the dirt, hard! We want to be kind to others, but safe.  Giving, but able to care for ourselves as well.  Supportive, but not enabling.  Then there are times when we just don't understand how life could bring us anymore pain and we survive one more day.  It would be great to have all the answers, but we don't.  But I believe we have enough to get us through life and live happily!  My solution is to COLLECT YOUR HAPPY!

  Remember when I was talking about the show I watched?  Well that simple question made me want to know how to be prepared for the emotional disasters in life.  There is no bank where we can deposit our happy emotions.  I know that!  But for every dark cloud we've had there also had to be a ray of light to come along to push the dark away.  In a more practical way of thinking about this, there can be no light if we don't know dark.  This is so true.  How do we know what happy or sad is without the other?  If life was always easy and simple then how would any experience feel any better than the other?  Getting a car would feel the same as having a new baby.  How is one experience in life any happier than the other when we have nothing to compare it to?  Would we care enough to do anything?  As parents we want our kids to appreciate having to earn money.  To understand and value it.  But when we are simply given everything, what do we have to be grateful for?  We don't know what bad is in order to say something is good.

  So for me an example of collecting my happy, would be remembering my times of real joy!  I've lost family that, at times, consumes me with sorrow because I miss them.  But then if I think about why I miss them, those memories are happy.  I dipped into my happy.  One more example I've seen of this is in one of my favorite movies...X-Men First Class!  There is a scene where a young professor X is trying to help a young Magneto with his powers.  Magneto needs to be able to move an object larger than he's ever moved before.  He's been taught that anger is the best way to strengthen his powers.  To his surprise he is asked to remember his happiest memory.  The memory he found was of a time when he was a child on his birthday.  His mother was there and he was at complete peace and happiness.  At that moment he was able to move the massive piece of metal.  Professor X said he believes true power comes from somewhere between joy and rage.  We don't let the rage control us, but at the same time peace isn't always present in our lives.  

  I hope at this Holiday Season that we are all able to make and collect some happy of our own.  The past is a memory we can hold onto. The future is something to look forward to.  But today is what we decide to make it.  Try to make it something you can add to your collection of happy.  

Some of the sheep are boys

Believe it or not some of the sheep are boy sheep.  I know it's shocking to think that men are in the majority, but they are!  Ha Ha!  There happen to be a few males in my house.  They are forgetful, and frustrating.  Too many times I simply lose my temper with them.  But in the end we all need each other!  

  As a girl, growing up with all sisters, I never really thought about having only boys.  I always thought about having kids, but never really what gender they'd be.  Even being pregnant I knew I was having a son first but didn't think much of it.  Then, the day he was born the doctor laid him on my chest and as fast as my heart leapt, my stomach dropped. Not because he was a boy and I didn't know what to do with him.  But because I had to raise a son to become a man.  I didn't know how to do that!  Maybe I still don't?  Then there were two more sons to follow.  Now with a house full of testosterone I wouldn't have it any other way.  I admit I feel out numbered and alone sometimes, but God knew what he was doing...I have 4 sisters and no brothers.  I have plenty of support.  

 My three little guys.  They are older now but not by much!

This is a photo of my sisters and me.  We were younger then too! 

 I never really looked down on guys when I was growing up.  I just never had the opportunity to live with them.  In our house the rule was, there are no such things as boy or girl chores...there were just chores.  And we did what we had to do.  Then, I grew up and got married and all that had to adjust.  First, as our family got larger I couldn't continue to be in charge of so much around the house.  I did the inside and outside work.  Yard work has always been a love of mine.  This meant we had to figure our home life out.  My husband and I didn't have a smoothly sailing ship for many years.  There was miscommunication and hurt feelings. Then as the kids got older they were expected to carry more of the responsibility.  

 So here is what I have learned about the male gender.  They really aren't that different.  Yes my boys should be a little less dramatic and hysterical through their teen years, but I paid up front for that.  In their early years they have boundless amounts of energy that has nearly killed me.  But those differences aren't what's important to our Father in Heaven.  He wants us to find common ground in this life.  Besides a gender we are individuals.  We need to see our differences on a personal level.  Not because of gender or upbringing.  

  The men in our lives play their part.  I may not see my husband all day, but when he gets home he's present.  He takes time for himself when he needs it, but I know anytime I call his name he will come help me.  When we were first married that wasn't the case.  We both searched to find fault with the other and looked for reasons to feel offended.  After years of struggle and growth we now have a better understanding of how our marriage can work.  But through all the of the hurt, on my part, the most important thing I learned is that he hurts too.  He worries, he gets tired, and he gets lost.  The whole point of our marriage changed.  We didn't just need each other, we wanted to help one another.  It wasn't about what I wanted him to become better at doing, it was what can I do to help him improve.  

  To give an example of this, let me share a story. When I was pregnant with our second son I didn't feel well at all.  From day one I just didn't feel good.  I was tired and couldn't catch my breath.  My husband traveled out of the country often for his job.  One day when I was 25 weeks along I couldn't take it anymore.  I made an appointment to see my OB that day!  As soon as I got to the office I could see the doctor and nurses were worried.  I was extremely out of breath and looked like death (I'm sure).  The doctor quickly had me walk to the perinatal floor in the hospital to have some tests run on my lungs and heart.  As soon as I had changed out of my clothes and into the, lovely, hospital gown a nurse whisked me away for a chest x-ray.  Which they don't do, normally, on pregnant women.  That was my first clue that something was really wrong.  When I got back to my room I got hooked up to all the baby monitors.  The baby's heart rate was fine and he was moving.  After trying to get comfortable for about 30 minutes the nurse came in and asked me how I felt.  I told her, "HORRIBLE"!  I was so tired and couldn't get to sleep and I just hurt everywhere.  She then replied, "Well you're having regular contractions".  So, that explained a lot!  After a quick check she determined I was almost 3 centimeters dilated and the baby had dropped.  Then I turned into one of "those" women.  You know, the ones that immediately go "No that's not going to work for me. The baby has to stay in for a lot longer!  I'm going to go now.  Could you just hand me my clothes?"  After calling my husband and informing him, I immediately called my mom.  She then explained to me that she was out of town because one of my sisters was in labor as well.  The difference being, she was suppose to be in labor!  LOL  So I stayed in the hospital overnight.  The entire night was spent with nurses coming in trying to get the contractions to subside.  At 3am they stopped and I finally got some sleep.  The next morning I was released to my husband for bed rest.  I had three months just to make it to 36 weeks.  Which I did by the skin of my teeth.  I hated every minute of it and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy!  

  Through all of that I never once thought about how my poor husband must have been feeling.  He needed to work so that we could survive financially, but he also wanted to be home with me and our oldest son who needed him.  Unfortunately, it wasn't until years later that I realized he was more scared than us all!  He stood to lose his wife and son.  Then he would be left to raise one child on his own.  If I could tell young wives one thing it would be to remember that he matters.  Whoever that is.  Whether it be your spouse, father, son, bishop, whomever. They matter, and they need help too.  They don't have it as easy as we may sometimes think.  "Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God". Even the boy souls! 

For Us, the Ninety& Nine

Oh my, where to start? I guess the first question is, what is this all about? The answer to that is, it's about the majority.  Not just the majority in America, or the world, but in humanity.  It's not just about Christians, it's about all of us who have our beliefs and stick to them.  Hopefully as this blog progresses it will become more obvious.  I thought that this idea originally came to me this past weekend at Timeout For Women.  That is a conference the women of my area have the opportunity to attend each year.  It is put together by Deseret Books. There are uplifting speakers and music the whole weekend, and while you're there everything seems possible!  So naturally I assumed this idea must have been invented in my mind there.  Once home, however,  I realized that this dream of uplifting those around me is something I've always tried to figure out how to do.  Let me try to stay on tract.

  In the Bible, the King James version, we read many passages that teach of Christ as The Good Shepherd.  The story teaches us that no matter what sheep (or followers) he loses, he will go find them.  He will leave the "ninety & nine" and search for the one.  It's a beautiful story of the love our Savior has for us.  But my whole life I have always thought about the rest of the sheep.  You know, the ones that stayed. All 100 didn't run off.  I picture them grazing and roaming near the Shepherd.  Never going too far from the master they trust.  It's not simply them obeying him, they love him.  They know he is their to protect them.  Well, as we know these sheep represent us.  The majority!  Our lives aren't perfect.  We stress, we struggle, we stumble, but we stay!  

  Yay for us?  Yes, yay for us!! In this conference I attended there was a quote read in almost every speakers presentation.  And it's by one of the past prophets of our church, Spencer W. Kimball. He said, "God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs."  Being in the majority, we often feel left or forgotten.  We aren't the one percent that needs a lot of care. We aren't the squeaky wheel. And quite frankly that use to bug me.  Then, as I got older and read the words of President Kimball more and more I realized we aren't alone.  He left us with each other and for a reason.  We aren't suppose to go to a corner and graze on our own.  But instead we are expected to help and love one another.  We are the ones that might help God answer someone else's prayer!  I don't know about you but there are times I love throwing myself a big ole pity party!  In the words of President Hinkley's (another Prophet) father, "Forget thyself and get to work!"  There is always work to be done for someone in more need than ourselves.  And while we are serving others, our own prayers are usually answered.  

  I am no expert!  I have struggled, and I will struggle.  And so will we all! But we are not forgotten.  I have many ideas and topics to post about on this blog and I'm excited to get started.  I also hope to have some really awesome people write some posts for me!  I will try to keep the posts to a reasonable size.  Sometimes, I don't finish reading a blog post because it just gets too long.  Also, this is a place of love and kindness.  That doesn't mean we will all agree, but we can all still respect one another.  I really hope all that read will leave a comment.  I want to help make this as enjoyable as possible.  Which means some posts won't be as serious as others.  I love to laugh, and it's funny that this wasn't the first post I wrote for this blog.  But I felt that one introducing my idea would be better to begin with.  Here we go...TO BE CONTINUED...